Putting it All Into Words

Goodbyes <3

How is it coming home?

Nothing quite prepared me to come back home, even though while I was on the ship, my friend told me to start preparing.  I have read some articles about coming home (such as this one), and realize that part of the difficulty is that in planning to go to Benin, I knew my life would be in an upheaval and prepared for it.  However, in coming home, I did not know at all what to expect and naively thought life would go back to normal.

I did ask myself some questions...will everything be strange?  Will it be normal?  What is normal?...but did not fully think through what the answers to these questions would be.  Though I am so thankful to see my family, friends, and coworkers again, the reality is that I have also left behind many, many good friends.  The goodbyes were so difficult.  I even cried on my last day, although I do feel a bit embarrassed about that!

Finally a roommate picture!  Two of us left on Nov 27, so the others had the whole room to themselves.

There were about seven people who left on the same flight, and this photo shows everyone who lined up on the dock and came to say goodbye!

Life is so similar to what it was before I left, and yet so different.  How do I adjust when I also am different?  There has been good advice given, such as to "just be," and to not try to fit in with everyone else if I do not want to or do not think I can.  There have been some really good days, reconnecting with friends.  I have also been enjoying the fact that my bathroom is no longer a public bathroom (yes, I was a deck 2 girl).

Reminiscing

It seemed as though I found my niche working on the Africa Mercy.  It was exciting to see God moving in very obvious ways, and so often!  He saved a patient from a hemorrhage when he should have died.  He used a surgeon to straighten crooked legs so many children could walk normally.  He put it in peoples' hearts to share the Gospel in French on B Ward!  He caused people to pray regularly and spontaneously with one another.  Life onboard the Africa Mercy is and environment of constantly seeking to praise God for all He has done.  It is saturated with people who have the same heart and mind for God.

It is easy for me to think God is only working in Africa, but in reality, He is not.  God is at work everywhere!  Philippians 2:13 shows that God is continually at work in each Christian.  He has promised to complete the work in us that He started in the first place (Philippians 1:6).  God did not just say that it was a halfway decent, maybe okay work.  He said it was a good work.  And He will finish it!  He also has promised to use everything for good in the lives of those who love Him (Romans 8:28).  Coming back to Canada, I have seen that God is calling people to Himself!  I have also seen friends and family here who are growing in Christ and becoming more like Him!

I am not quite sure what else to say at this point.  I have good days and I have bad days.  Sometimes I want to be in Canada and a lot of the time I want to be in Africa.  But I serve a God who does not make mistakes, and He places each of us where He wants us for the time that we are here

For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place and you and your father’s house will perish. And who knows whether you have not attained royalty for such a time as this?  ~ Esther 4:14

Esther was in the kingdom, the queen of Artaxerxes, for a specific time and purpose.  Mordecai, her uncle, suggested to her that perhaps the reason for attaining queenship out of all the hundreds of women who could have been chosen, was to bring salvation to her people (the Jews).  God turned the wicked plan of Haman (his plan was to kill every single Jew) into their salvation through a young Jewish girl.  God used Esther, and He can use you and I.  If you have some time, read through the entire book of Esther (it is only 10 chapters) and savour how God orchestrated all situations to take care of His children.

Rather than complain about my life and wish for what I do not have, I am trying to trust God.  If any of us are seeking to do the will of the Lord, and praying to that end, I believe He will do it.  Therefore I can say, I am here "for such a time as this".  So excited to see what God's going to do next!

Goodbye/Au revoir

I just wanted to share an article that has been extremely helpful over the last few days.  When I am sad or discouraged about where I am at in life, it is usually because my view of God is not correct.  I am not trusting that God is sufficient to meet my every need, or that He is not a good Father who will provide and give good things.  So often I have such horrible unbelief.  As the father of the demon-possessed boy cried to Jesus (read Mark 9:14-29), "I do believe; help my unbelief (Mark 9:24)!"